Recently I've been having very vivid dreams about things that could happen in my life. You know those dreams that you wake up and wonder, "Was that really a dream, or did that happen in real life?" And these dreams have actually been quite upsetting.
Last week I dreamed that one of my old piano teachers, who I really love and look up to, was angry with me about having a different teacher than her. She's totally not like that in real life, so I don't know how my subconscious came up with that!
Also, more recently I dreamed that on the first day of college, everyone except me knew what they were doing and where they were going. I knew no-one and had no idea where I was or even where my room was for that matter! I felt very lost and alone wandering the halls, trying to figure out what was going on. You know that sinking feeling where you don't really know what you're doing but you don't want anyone to know that you're lost... that's how I felt. When I woke up, I had to calm my heart and tell myself that wouldn't happen. But deep down inside, the doubt had been planted, no matter how I tried to shake it off as "just a dream."
As I talked it over with my mom, I realized that somehow, my fears were coming out in my dreams. Though maybe I wouldn't admit it to myself, I am scared about what it will be like at college, and about people I love getting mad at me. I thought I had conquered these fears, but here they were coming back in my life again. Was I ever to be rid of them?
Today God gave me the perfect answer. And I should have known it all along.
Perfect love casts out fear.
I know this, but I don't really know it. It's only been in my brain, not in my life. So the sermon this morning just hit home for me. The verses my pastor was preaching on were Ephesians 3:17b-19 "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
This is the answer. This is how these fears can be completely removed and eradicated from my life. If I'm resting secure in God's love, filled up with Him, there's no room for any kind of fear! If I'm rooted in the soil of His love, my tree shall grow tall and firm. I need not fear the winds of change and uncertainty that might fell a weaker tree. And if I'm grounded in the sure foundation of His Word, my building shall be solid and steadfast. I need not fear the floods of doubt that try to eat away at my mortar.
I can rest securely, because I rest in God's unchanging, never-ending love. His love is deeper than my deepest sin, higher than my highest dreams, broader than the scope of my imagination, and longer than I can see or even think. For He loves me with an everlasting love!
This is my foundation. This is my security. This is the perfect love that casts out all my fears.