Bucket List

I always thought the idea of a bucket list was interesting. But not interesting enough for me ever to make one.

Well, after reading this post by the lovely Polka Dot, I decided it would be worth a try. So here is my bucket list, right off the top of my head, in the random order I think if it:

Have at least one of my books published

Record my music in a real recording studio

Have a CD of my music published (with a recording label)

Bring someone to Christ

Play the violin (as well as guitar and cello) in church or a worship setting and have it really feel musical/worshipful

Play in a piano trio and perhaps tour or record.
Take voice lessons and develop my voice

Fall in love with and marry a godly young man

Have as many children as God provides (though I like the idea of having four... ;) )

Get (and know how to use) a DSLR camera

Own a mac

Visit a real castle

Play a pipe organ

Have one of my piano students continue on in music as their career

And that's all I can think of at the moment. :) What's on your bucket list?

Truly Blessed

I thank you all so very much for praying for the recording of my CD on Tuesday. The whole day was filled with blessings beyond compare - from the start to the end of the recording session.

Even though at times it got to 87 degrees in the sanctuary (because we couldn't have the A.C. running while recording), God saw us through. Even when we got tired, or frustrated with the squeaky pedal on the piano or our own performance, He strengthened us and helped us be patient and calm. I could tell from the moment we prayed together at the beginning that God had His hand upon the endeavor.

The awesome violinist and singer

Yes, the recording is "less than professional quality" (because it was done in my small church, with the best equipment we had), and I know there are minor mistakes (which only I would catch) in many of the songs. But I also know I serve a great God, who is able to take whatever I create and use it. And I pray that He will multiply my small loves and two fish into enough to feed thousands.

For nothing is impossible with God. ~Luke 1:37

Me - pianist, composer, and background vocals

Here is an excerpt of the prayer I wrote in my journal the day after the recording:

Lord, I praise You, for You alone are good and righteous and there is none other like You. My life's goal is to worship You, and this CD is only just a part of that. 

Thank-you for bringing this dream together - for giving me the talent and the inspiration to write these songs, blessing me with such willing, helpful people to perform and record them, and providing the right equipment and knowledge. You knew how this all was going to happen even when it was just a dream of mine - a castle in the sky. Thank-you, Lord, for working all these things out for Your glory. 

So I ask you - would you join me in continuing to pray for the CD as I prepare it for selling? I know God can and will use this for His glory, if I commit it to Him.

Fearful Dreams, and Perfect Love

Recently I've been having very vivid dreams about things that could happen in my life. You know those dreams that you wake up and wonder, "Was that really a dream, or did that happen in real life?" And these dreams have actually been quite upsetting.

Last week I dreamed that one of my old piano teachers, who I really love and look up to, was angry with me about having a different teacher than her. She's totally not like that in real life, so I don't know how my subconscious came up with that!

Also, more recently I dreamed that on the first day of college, everyone except me knew what they were doing and where they were going. I knew no-one and had no idea where I was or even where my room was for that matter! I felt very lost and alone wandering the halls, trying to figure out what was going on. You know that sinking feeling where you don't really know what you're doing but you don't want anyone to know that you're lost... that's how I felt. When I woke up, I had to calm my heart and tell myself that wouldn't happen. But deep down inside, the doubt had been planted, no matter how I tried to shake it off as "just a dream."

As I talked it over with my mom, I realized that somehow, my fears were coming out in my dreams. Though maybe I wouldn't admit it to myself, I am scared about what it will be like at college, and about people I love getting mad at me. I thought I had conquered these fears, but here they were coming back in my life again. Was I ever to be rid of them?

Today God gave me the perfect answer. And I should have known it all along.

Perfect love casts out fear.

I know this, but I don't really know it. It's only been in my brain, not in my life. So the sermon this morning just hit home for me. The verses my pastor was preaching on were Ephesians 3:17b-19 "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

This is the answer. This is how these fears can be completely removed and eradicated from my life. If I'm resting secure in God's love, filled up with Him, there's no room for any kind of fear! If I'm rooted in the soil of His love, my tree shall grow tall and firm. I need not fear the winds of change and uncertainty that might fell a weaker tree. And if I'm grounded in the sure foundation of His Word, my building shall be solid and steadfast. I need not fear the floods of doubt that try to eat away at my mortar.

I can rest securely, because I rest in God's unchanging, never-ending love. His love is deeper than my deepest sin, higher than my highest dreams, broader than the scope of my imagination, and longer than I can see or even think. For He loves me with an everlasting love! 

This is my foundation. This is my security. This is the perfect love that casts out all my fears.