Interested in my Handwriting?

Awhile back I was tagged in this handwriting tag. It looked like a lot of fun, so I decided to try it out when I was home on break. I use both cursive and print, so for each number I wrote in both of them. :)


Write the following on a sheet of paper:

1.Name/Blog Name
2.Right handed, left handed or both
3.Favorite letters to write
4.Least favorite letters to write
5.Write: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
6.Write in caps: CRAB HUMOR KALEIDOSCOPE PAJAMAS GAZILLION
7.Favorite song lyrics
8.Tag 7 people
9.Any special note or drawing

So - which handwriting is your favorite? I'm told your handwriting tells others a lot about you - so what does my handwriting say about me? 

Beginning to See

"Now that I'm through, I can begin to see more clearly."

I wrote that sentence in my journal just a few nights ago, in relation to a really stressful situation that happened the end of this past week. I had taken a test in order to try to test out of one of my classes, and it ended up that I was going to have to pay a ridiculously high fee just in order to test out. Also, I had added a physical education class to my load... and ended up realizing that it was just too much.

All in all - it was a really emotional, draining time for me. There were so many different questions and anxiety and emotions swirling in my head that it felt like I was in a grey mist. On top of all that, I was mentally and physically worn out from the long days with back-to-back classes & accompanying (Wednesday was 9 hours straight with only 1/2 hour break for lunch). I was exhausted... and I couldn't see an end anytime soon.

Well God knows that the best way to get us to see clearly sometimes is to put roadblocks in our way. Oftentimes, we don't even realize that we're not viewing life with God's eyes... so He has to cover our world with darkness in order for us to realize just how much we need the sun.

I needed the Son, badly. Though I thought I had it all together and would be able to just "push through," God had to reveal to me how wrong I was. And on top of that, he dug even deeper and taught me a much-needed lesson about something I don't like to talk much about.

It's about crying. 

You see, I hate to cry. Even if I'm by myself, crying is still a very painful thing for me. I have to kind of wrench the sobs out of me... otherwise I'm too good at automatically suppressing and subduing them. And then trying to cry in front of others is like grabbing my own arm and twisting it... I just simply can't.

But God taught me a powerful lesson about that. It's okay to cry. Sometimes you just have to let yourself be vulnerable... because that's the only way you're going to be real. And I want so desperately to be real.

During those couple of days, the tears would just come as I was talking to my friends or family or adviser about the situation... and though at first I fought them, I realized that they were there for good. For cleansing. They were a part of what I was going through just as much as anything else, and I needed to just let myself cry.

Though I would never again want to experience the anxiety and chaos that those days brought, I can see clearer now. God reminded me that I have tears I need to shed... and that He is the one who wipes every one of them away.

And only when my eyes and heart and mind have been washed by the Son can I truly begin to see.

With One Word

When I saw this on quite a few of the blogs I follow, I knew I had to join. Like I said in this post, I don't really do new year's resolutions well - I prefer more life goals and long-term visions.

But I also want to focus on something small, something attainable this year.

One word sounds small enough to me.

And the funny thing is, I knew just exactly what word I wanted to focus on for this year. It's so simple, yet so incredibly big.

Whenever I hear it, or think of it, I experience this deep, intense longing which I almost cannot name or express. I want so very much to have this word be the anthem of my life.

It's been a theme of my prayers for quite some time, yet I never seem to be able to wrap my mind around it.

My one word for 2011 is:

Satisfied

I want to be completely and utterly satisfied in Christ. It goes along with abiding in Christ, which is another word I considered (and an equally excellent goal). To be able to rest in His unchanging love... to find my completeness, my wholeness, my joy, my purpose, my worth, my love, my satisfaction, my everything... in Him. That is what I want this year.

What one word will you take on for 2011?

Still Sweet

You know what?

I'm back at college (I came back Monday), and even though things are crazy and sometimes I'm sad about leaving my family and friends back at home... life is still sweet. God has been overwhelmingly good to me here at Cedarville, and I'm only on my third day back!

So here's ten things that make my life sweet:

{1} Waking up
Yeah, you wouldn't think that would be on my happy list, would you? But even though I've been having to wake up earlier than break (6:30, usually), it is still good. Because instead of being jolted awake by my alarm, God has been gently waking me about twenty minutes before it. It is the most amazing thing to be wakened by God, and just to come before His throne in the first few minutes of my morning.

{2} The Tangled Soundtrack
This is my new go-to album for everything. Sad, sweet, peppy, dramatic... it's got it all!

{3} Inspiration
I'm constantly amazed by this, but even in the midst of all the business, in the midst of the craziness, my inspiration still flows! I've had thoughts for blog posts by the dozens, as well as some writing inspiration on my own stories. (Speaking of blog posts - watch out for a new meme I'll be introducing sometime the middle of next week!)

{4} The joy of studying the Bible
My day is simply not complete if I have not fed myself with at least a morsel of the most delicious and satisfying food ever - God's holy word.

{5} Playing in an ensemble
I'm playing a trio by Brahms with a violinist and a french horn player this semester, and I'm super excited! I love the sound of multiple instruments together... and this piece is gorgeous.

{6} Grand pianos to practice on!
Need I say more? ;)

{7} Relying on God 24/7
You wouldn't think this would be fun, but  in an amazing way, it is. It really reminds me about His sovereignty in my life... in everything.

{8} Haircut!
I'll show you a picture soon, hopefully - but I got it cut quite short (for me). ;)

{9} Hearing harmonies in my head
Seriously, this so amazing. As I'm singing in chapel I'll suddenly realize that I'm not singing the melody anymore - I'm singing some random harmony that I just hear in my head. It is so cool!

{10} The amazing blessing of knowing so many people who love me, care about me, and pray for me
And I think this is the sweetest of all.

Stretching

The beginning of a new year, and the beginning of a new semester is often a good time to reflect, as well as look forward. This last year, with my first semester of college, brought so many changes for me. But through it all I have seen just how good my God is. I've been tumbling in the mad treadmill of life for most of the time, yet He has miraculously kept me right-side-up through it all.

If I could sum up my first semester of college in one word, it would have to be:

Stretching

Quite literally, it has been a stretching time for my muscles and my endurance. My dorm just happens to be the furthest one away from everything, so needless to say, I've been doing a lot of walking and biking. I've had to push myself to the limit, and then even further. There were some days where I just prayed over and over, "God, please give me the strength to do this." And the amazing thing is - He does!

It has also been a stretching time for me regarding my spiritual life. There are so many things I've learned in my classes that have broadened my understanding of God (take this post for example). I'm so amazed how my view of God has burst wide open to the heavens above the clouds!

It's been stretching emotionally as well, as any separation will be. I've had to deal with missing my family and friends, trying to make new friends (and discern whether people are genuine or not) as well as relating to a vast variety of people. Thankfully God has spared me from experiencing too much homesickness, and He has provided me with some sweet girls who I can see are genuine and really do care.

I've also been stretched in the area of my piano playing, which is something I'm very glad of (after all, that's what I came to college for, right?). ;) However, it does take a lot of humility to hear that the way you've been playing piano all your life is incorrect, and then have to re-train your hands in the right technique. Having to basically "start over" on the songs I had been learning in order to play them with the correct technique was hard. But by the grace of God, I now have much better form, and can practice for many hours at a time without my hands hurting or even feeling very tired. I still have a long way to go, but what I have learned makes me feel so fulfilled and excited to teach it to my future students!

Overall, God has been so good to me. Even when I feel like I'm stretched to my limit, He's right there with me. And I'm reminded of how Christ was stretched out on the cross, suffering for my sins so that I might be able to stretch and grow in Him. I'm so thankful for this growing time at college He has blessed me with. I'm so excited to see how He will continue to bless, mold, and uphold me through the next semester... and the rest of my life.





How has God been stretching you recently?

I Want to Be

So many times, New Year's resolutions are about doing new things - working out, going to a new Bible Study, whatever it may be. These aren't bad in themselves, but this year I don't just want to do.

I want to be. 

I want to be a Christian who seeks after God with all her heart - constantly hungering with all her might to grasp still more of who Christ is.

One who knows her foundation is in Christ alone, and that she can rest securely in His hand, His love, His acceptance.

One who reaches out to those who are lonely, outcasts, different... and pours into them Christ's love no matter how unlovable they may seem.

One who is willing to be drained dry of life, strength, energy - simply to draw more people to my Savior.

One who loves and cherishes the riches of God's Word ever more fully.

One who is willing to be bold when the opportunity for truth is presented. 

One who cares not only for the well-being of people... but for their souls.

One who serves and magnifies Christ with all I have.

This is what I desire to be - by God's grace.

What do you want to be this year?