Learning to Live (Guest Post)

“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.” —Ivan Panin

A little girl is on her knees by her bed. It was pitch dark around her, she is scared, but she won't get off her knees. She grips her hands together, as if trying to will herself to be brave by the pain she feels in her hands and her heart.

She bites her lower lip, fear is welling up inside her. It’s so very dark and…she tries switching off her imagination. Right now is not the time to think about monsters under the bed. She has to do this…she has to.

She clinched her eyes shut, rubbing her hands a little bit and blocking out the idea of hands reaching out from under the bed for her. And then she prays and she forgets all about monsters and darkness.

“God, please, I just want one friend. One friend, that’s all I’m asking. Please. I just want someone to love me. I want someone to talk to. I want someone to listen to me when I’m hurting. I’ll give up anything, God. I’ll be anything, I’ll do anything You want me to…Could it be that hard just to give me one friend? In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

The little girl dives into bed, covering up with the blankets and thinking miserably about how lonely she feels…in a few moments, she rolls over and falls asleep…

***

That was me, a few years ago. And that didn’t happen just one night, it happened multiple nights. I was a little girl crying out to God for my greatest wish—a best friend. And God didn’t answer my prayer right away. Actually it was two or three years later after I prayed and prayed for a friend that God actually gave me one. At the time God finally blessed me with my best friend, I actually had stopped praying for one because I thought God didn’t want me to have one. I had mistaken God’s “Wait” for “No.”

Patience isn’t my virtue. If I lack anything it probably is patience. I want "Yes" or "No" answers. Telling me to wait is like asking me to go crazy. I live my life flying—I don't have "time" to wait. I’m running around, helping everyone, being everywhere, being everything, and I forget sometimes God just wants me to stand still and wait.

I know you seem to get behind on everything when you step out of the fast lane for a moment. It seems like you feel obsolete, outdated, no longer in the “know”. But sometimes we need to step out of the fast lane. We need to slow down and live.

Because if you didn’t slow down…

…You wouldn’t have seen that butterfly.
…You wouldn’t have felt that raindrop.
…You wouldn’t have said that prayer.
…You wouldn’t have seen that flower.
…You wouldn’t have felt that hand holding yours.
…You wouldn’t have seen that smile.
…You wouldn’t have written that note.
…You wouldn’t have known that love.

I want to fly and soar through life…but I also want to stand still and wait for God’s perfect plan. I have to learn patience…I have to learn to live.

I had given up on a friend…But God hadn’t given up on me.

It’s like what Ivan Panin says. There is beauty, truth, and love to find, we just have to be ready and waiting…and looking.

---

Awel Prince is the author of Shilah and the aspiring designer of blogs at Inspiré Designs Studio. She has a passion for knowing more of her glorious God and find beauty and meaning in a world satisfied with the mediocre. She is also in the process of writing one of the few true Christain sci-fis while keeping up with friends, family, and life.