A year and half ago, in February of 2009, my family decided that the LORD was calling us to adopt an older girl from China and we were all amazingly excited.
After a few weeks everything was going the way it was supposed to be going. We had "found" and be officially matched with a beautiful 13-year-old girl whom we lovingly named 'Christy'.
We seemed to constantly be doing paperwork, going to embassy, praying, or just playing the waiting game which I'm sure that we all know too well. But all the work and wait seemed worth it. Soon Christy was going to be part of our family and we were all excited to bring her home and welcome her into our life.
Then all of our dreams and hopes were shattered. In June of 2009 we received word that a family member had come forward to claim our Christy and we would no longer be permitted to adopt her. I remember all too well the feelings of pain, despair, and helplessness that I felt.
I wrote in my diary:
"I feel like a piece of my heart has been torn out and it been locked away in China."I cried constantly. I know that this sounds extreme, but, in my heart, Christy was already my sister and I felt as if someone had just taken my sister away from me and I hadn't even had the chance to get to know her yet.
Finally, I decided that enough was enough. I could not allow myself to dwell in my sadness and in my self-pity. I opened my journal and wrote a pretend letter to Christy, just expressing all of my emotion. And then I spent some time in prayer. After that, the LORD began to replace my pain with His perfect peace.
Time passed. Our family still felt like God was calling us to adopt. Even though He had closed the door with Christy, we felt like He had left it ajar just enough to let us know that He wasn't finished leading us to China yet.
Daddy began to put pictures up around the house. Pictures of 12-year-old girls in China, all of whom were without a home or family to call their own. We talked about them all but none of them felt right. Mom and I even said that the pain of losing Christy was still too fresh. None of the other girls felt "right". We wanted to wait.
God had His own plans however because, while Mom was deleting masses of adoption e-mails from her inbox, He allowed one to sneak through. One that told the story of an 12-year-old girl named Yuanyuan. Born blind and an orphan her whole life, Yuanyuan (Her English name is Theresa) had begged and American couple to tell people in America about her so that she could one day have a family. After reading the email, Mom and I looked at each other. "That's my sister." I said.
It's been a year since then and we have constantly been astounded at how incredible God's timing is and how He has been so obviously guiding this adoption with His hand. I could share story after story of how He has worked in our lives through this whole experience... but His love and grace overwhelm me.
I love Theresa more than words can say. She is my sister. I'm in no place to say that she is a more perfect fit for our family than Christy would have been, but God told us. All too clearly. If our adoption with Christy hadn't fallen through, we never would have found Theresa and Mom and Dad wouldn't be in China right now picking her up. She wouldn't be coming home on September 4th. Wow. God is good.
Through the pain of loss and blossoming of a new and better chapter, I have learned to trust God more fully and completely than I ever had before. I have never felt closer to my Father in Heaven than now and I look forward to great anticipation to seeing how this adoption story with end... and how the story of our new life- with a new sister named Theresa- will begin....
(Above are two pictures of Theresa, taken by my parents. Currently they are in China and will be coming home on September 4. I am wildly excited.)
About the author...
Cassandra- or 'Cassie' as she is better known- is a 15-year-old girl, set-apart by Jesus Christ who saved her from the bondage of her sin. She loves words, pictures, family, friends, laughing, and life. Read her blog, 'Inside My Mind' and visit her complete profile to learn more about her and visit the adoption section of her blog to read in more detail how the LORD has brought Theresa home to her forever family in America.