Unreachable

Here is another poem. This one I wrote in December, so it isn't as recent, but I really have been struck by the ideas in this recently. So many people I know (including & especially myself), have trouble with being real. Being willing to let people see beyond the surface smiles, the "I-have-it-all-together" looks. How can we let others see past the iced-over surface? Read on and you shall see the conclusion I came to.

Unreachable

I am a pond.

Unmoving - unmovable.

Nothing ruffles my glassy surface.

No one can pierce through the image I portray,

And see the depth

Of my pain.

I am indecipherable.

I feel a sensation of cold,

A snowflake prickles my skin

As it settles down on my surface.

Frantically, I try to stop it from sinking in.

Building up an icy wall,

Until I am once more,

Impenetrable.

Yet this sheet of ice begins to weigh upon me

Freezing my mind and emotions

I begin to really feel

Just how absent are my feelings.

What am I?

I am lifeless and cold

Unlovable.

The winter drags on

Your gentle snow piles on top of my self-made burden,

Weighing me down even more.

I almost wish it could break through

Just so I wouldn't feel so cold and empty.

But the wall just keeps building up, thicker and thicker.

I am unthawable.

As winter comes to a close,

I feel a warmth seep through my shell.

Slowly, oh so slowly,

The ice begins to get thinner and thinner

Until I can see Your sun once more

Shining dimly through the still-opaque glass.

I am yearning for something more.

I am so ready for this moment

When I shall finally be free.

Yet I dread it too,

For at least safety came with this captivity.

But cold winds come, like death,

And bind me in my cage of ice.

Unreachable once more.

I cry out in my anguish

Hoping that You will help me.

But the answer I recieve seems harsh,

Piercing drops of rain that pelt me on all sides.

I begin to feel my shell melt once more,

But oh, what a painful way this is!

In each raindrop that melts down to my very soul,

I hear Your voice, calling and convicting me.

And I know I can't hide under the surface any longer.

I must let Your words

Expose the depth of my heart.

I must become

Reachable.

(copyright Melody 2009)

~Melody