I'm a quote collector of sorts, and as soon as someone says something either hilarious or profound (or both!) I'm ready with a pen and piece of paper (or a napkin or my arm if none is available). Many times during class the teacher would say something witty, and while still scrambling to write his last statement, I found a few extra seconds to put it down. The quotes always made me laugh later - and so I thought I would share a few.
"Don't just use the pianissimo on the shelf at Walmart - invent your own!"
"Practice like you don't have any talent at all."
"This piece is like the march of the crazy, undead clowns." (extra points for you if you can guess what piano piece this is!)
"I will now give you a lecture in duple meter."
"Let's go on to something excruciatingly exciting!"
"Closeness only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades."
"Tritones are the windup spring of the happy meal of music." (I'm still trying to figure this one out.)
"It's like a hand grenade of intellectual kaboom!" (Speaking of something particularly profound or piercing he had just said)
"Don't blow people up. That's the lesson for tonight."
"I eat chords the way guys in Lawlor eat pizza."
"I'm making you get a crush on chord progressions."
"I forgot the first chord of The Rite of Spring! May I live in everlasting shame!"
"Oh, there it is. Good - I was about to shoot myself and get fired." (in that order.)
"It's advisable to have your words actually mean something."