For quite a few days I tried to put a finger on it. Was it that I just needed to relax, eat something, take a nap, or talk to a friend or family member? Was it just that I needed a break from the routine - or I was rebelling at the fact that I had to get back into it?
Thursday afternoon, as I was sitting at the piano doodling the things off the top of my head, it came to me.
I was waiting for a feeling.
I was going through life, my routine, schedule, classes, practices, the whole nine yards - just waiting for a feeling. The reason for my dissatisfaction was the fact that I didn't feel right... and somehow, that put a cloud over everything about my day.
I couldn't be satisfied - and all because I didn't have that feeling.
I think you know the feeling I'm talking about. It's when you just feel like everything is alright with the world, the sky is blue and your heart is at peace... no matter what challenges you're facing or problems have arisen. I have had that feeling quite often - and that week it had been missing.
But then I asked myself, should I base my attitude on a mere feeling? Should my not feeling a certain way make my life into only a boring routine? Is a feeling the only thing that can make me truly satisfied?
The answer to that came to me a bit later as I was outside doing homework in the sunshine and wind of a beautiful fall day. I was going about this whole thing wrong. I was chasing a feeling, when really I ought to be chasing God! I was content trying to keep a drop of water in my hands, when really I needed to search for the spring.
Man, that insight was convicting. But it was so wonderful, too. I was able to sit myself right down and have a good long talk with God - just re-focusing and re-orienting myself on Him and His word. And what a difference it has made in my week! Where the beginning of the week I was listless and dull, the end of this week I am excited and full of joy.
So I want to ask you: is there something in your life you're chasing - a feeling, an achievement, the perfect relationship or friendship? Is there something that is becoming to you more of a satisfaction than God? If there is, I urge you, as I am encouraging myself, to turn right around. Orient your gaze on our Savior, the only Source of true Satisfaction. His love is better than life - and more satisfying than any feeling.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~Romans 15:13This is my prayer for you, my sisters and brothers in Christ.