"And I lay my head back down"

I've been thinking about the song "Only Hope" recently. Especially the chorus where the words are:
"And I lay my head back down,
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours I pray
To be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope."

I've been pondering over how I must "lay my head back down" before I can really be submitted to Him (being "only Yours"). It's so hard for me to let go of my plans for my future, and just trust Him. Can I truly say I'm laying my head down in perfect peace and rest?

I know that hasn't been the case recently. I've really been struggling with my future - namely, whether or not to go to Cedarville University next year. Part of me wants to go, and part of me dreads it & wants to stay here. And for me, it's not just an issue of living in a new place with new people and classes (though that's pretty scary in itself!). I also have to deal with the health & food issues. Our family makes a special effort to eat healthy, and so I don't know if I could eat college food everyday and still be okay. And I don't know if that would be such a good thing to sacrifice just for an education.

I'm really praying and thinking a lot about this. I'm praying that if God wants me to stay here, that He'd open the doors for all these things I'd be missing if I didn't go to Cedarville. I'm trying to let go and let God show me the answer, instead of worrying myself to death over it. But it's so hard! I keep swaying back and forth.

If you think of it, please pray for me. And I would love to hear of any struggles or difficulties in decisions about your future that you are facing, so I can pray for you too. I believe reciprocal prayer is one of the most rewarding.


1 vivid thoughts:

Odd Socks said... {Reply}

I will pray that God gives you his perfect joy and peace as you wait on Him. Just follow step-by-step, and everything else will fall into place. You can't go wrong if you are living in Him!
I know it's not always easy, though. Time and time again I have to remind myself to trust Him instead of trying to plan my own way.
It's wonderful that He has placed it on your heart to seek Him through these important upcoming decisions. Keep with it, don't give up hope!
In Christ,
A Friend


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