5.24.2014

A CD and a farewell

Well friends, I did it.

I decided to take the plunge and start something new.

I've been wanting to get back into blogging for a long time, but I've just had a mental block about coming back. So much has happened since I last posted on here. And honestly, I feel that Vividry is a chapter that has closed for me.

I started this blog six years ago, as a highschool student, and here I am a college graduate starting down a new road. I love this blog and the people I have come to know through it, but I think it's time to start a new chapter. I'm a pianist, piano teacher, photographer and writer, and I would like a fresh start to re-focus.

 I don't want to say goodbye to all of you, though, so please come over and check my new blog out. It's called becoming





I have another exciting bit of news for you all. Remember in 2010 when I recorded music for a CD but never was able to actually produce a CD for you all? Well, I finally have done it. I recorded twelve of my songs (both ones I have written and Classical pieces I have studied at college), and I have made a CD out of them!

My CD is called A Spark of Inspiration, and I am so excited to share it with you all! I was able to record it on the 9-ft Steinway piano in the recital hall at Cedarville, and the sound is very rich and full. Check out the link to download it on CDbaby. Pretty soon it will be up on Itunes and Amazon also!

Rachel Lowrance: A Spark of Inspiration


  So friends, come and check out these new things! And I will see you over at becoming.


 

1.19.2014

This is my heart

I haven't felt this alive in a long time.

I just painted a representative of what my heart looks like.

It was amazing. I can't even begin to describe how fulfilling and deeply worshipful it felt to do that.

I wouldn't really consider myself an artist, but I love to paint. And sometimes, I think God is the one painting through me.

This was one of those times. As I painted, I began to see unfolding before my eyes exactly what God wanted me to see.



This is my heart, one side oozing and dripping with the black sludge of sin, and the other side exploding with the effortless radiance of God's glory and love. The black side is shrunk and eaten away, weighted down by its own inadequacy to do anything good. The light side is swollen and radiant, bursting open in a spontaneous overflow of light. And in the center of my heart is the pure white of Christ, shining over my whole heart, overthrowing the darkness and being the source for the light. My heart is now tethered to a cord of light and life, filled with Jesus' blood that washes whiter than snow. He is eliminating my darkness, and enabling me to effortlessly shine His love instead of drip darkness into others' lives.

Whatever we let overtake our hearts will be what comes out. We all have holes in our hearts - does your heart ooze with the sinful nature of your selfish desires, or does it shine with the radiant nature of your Savior?

 

10.06.2013

Growing in the daily grind

The daily grind is the hardest.

I'm back at school, and thus you haven't heard from me in two months. I have actually been doing quite a bit of writing, thanks to my Creative Writing Nonfiction class (which I'm loving). But I have struggled majorly with letting those fears and lies that I listened to before speak to me again.

It's so easy to forget the truth that we have been taught, isn't it? For me at school, my mind has to constantly keep a running tally of places I must be, practice I must do, homework I must complete before a certain time, appointments I must keep, people I must talk to. I hardly have time to think, much less quiet my thoughts and let God speak to me. And when I let that time with God slide, so much else in my life goes downhill with it.

So I'm stopping for a second and reminding myself of the truth.



This is the truth God has pressed upon my heart to combat and overcome the lies and fears:

God's Grace providing and carrying me along is the truth that sets me free from controlling my life and obsessing over what others think of me.

God's Love that has given me a new identity in Him is the truth that sets me free from my fears and the lies I tell myself that I am a burden and unwanted.

So what must I do with these truths God has given me? Every day I must receive them into myself again, preaching God's grace and love to my soul in my current situation. This is the beauty of truth - it always holds firm, even as it applies differently to various life situations.

Whenever I am tempted to speak lies to myself and believe them, I must consciously cling to the truth instead. Constantly bring it back to the forefront of my mind. Let the truth influence everything about me - my inward life (thoughts, emotions, decisions, reactions) as well as outward (speech, interactions, actions, boldness). Resist the temptation to take control, and instead let God take over my life. In every situation, respond to His leading in faith and trust.

What are the truths that God has shown you? How will you continue to listen to them and grow in them?

8.07.2013

Glimpses of Grace

Well, I'm still on this journey. Still somewhere on the mountain, with mists of uncertainty and fear swirling around me.

And yet. God is so good to me. I don't even know what to do or how to respond to Him in order to continue this journey - but somehow He keeps moving me forward!

I know I haven't arrived, obviously... the mountain still looms without end. But, He is giving me glimpses of His grace in my life, and each one bowls me over. How could I have missed this for so long?


I am so incredibly thankful that God refused to let me live in comfortable fear and self-sufficiency. He pulled the carpet out from under my proud self so He could make me stand on His Rock. He gently pried off the layers of lies I had coated myself with, and revealed to me the truth: that I am desperately wicked. Even my desires to do good were motivated not by love, but by fear and a craving for approval.

But thankfully, He did not leave me there. He then clothed me in Jesus' righteousness, and covered me in grace, which is the sole provider of every need. He is showing me daily who the "New Rachel" is and what role grace has in her life.

And in fact, I think this process will have to be repeated many times. There are many lies I believe, fears that control me, masks I wear. This is only one of them: the mask of self-sufficiency.

I'm so thankful that God works in me gently, lovingly, not pushing me around or pulling too much off of me at once. Instead, He gently pries loose one mask at a time, filling the space where the mask had been with a rush of love and grace. He deals so tenderly with me! He doesn't let any of my mess push Him away - I can rest in the unshakable promise of His continual presence with me.

And I know that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to bring it to completion. All I must do is trust.

 

8.05.2013

Little Lessons

Little lessons that God is pressing into my heart, like roses with thorns being gently crushed in the flower press of my heart. Though the thorns pierce my pride, the roses in due time release their healing, peaceful scent.

8/1/13
Psalm 139:14 (NASB) "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well." 

What does my soul know very well? What do I tell it day in and day out?

Lies 
   Fear 
      Guilt

What should my soul know very well?

Truth 
   God's love
      Grace


I need to listen to what God says, and preach His words to myself daily. 


8/2/13



8/3/13

I don't really know what trusting God looks like, because I've lived my whole life trying to please Him.


8/4/13

This song: O Great God. This is my prayer.

Oh Lord, help me now to live a life that's dependent on Your grace. 


 

7.31.2013

Grace

As promised, here is my first droplet. This is something I have really been struggling with even understanding recently:

Grace

Somehow I've wrapped up grace in a nice little package,
Tucking away my carefully-preserved knowledge
Of “God’s riches at Christ’s expense”
To be reserved only for witnessing emergencies.

My own life is too perfect for grace
I've managed to do just fine
Making up my own goodness
So that I've even fooled myself.

But the very nature of grace is to not sit still - 
It oozes through my self-made restrictions,
Tears down walls that hide my imperfection,
And bruises my pride by insisting on my unworthiness.

When it finally reduces me to a mess of broken sinfulness,
And I realize just how imperfect was my perfection,
Grace extends its hand to me
And reminds me 
of its name.
(c) Rachel Lowrance 2013


Inspired by Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman. A book I would highly recommend.  

7.30.2013

Journey


I'm embarking on a journey.

I don't know what the end will look like, or even if I'll ever get there. But, I know that my Savior has called me to follow Him down this path. He has been calling me out on a lot of deep things recently, some of which you have heard about on this blog (such as fear). I have been trying to respond to Him as best I can, but it is hard in the daily trudge. Right now it doesn't even seem like I'm even moving forward.

Somehow, it's always easier to see the steps once you've made it to the top of the mountain. Right now the mountain fills my whole sight, where I literally cannot see the end of it.

This is a journey away from many things:

lies
   fear
      self-sufficiency
         fakeness
             guilt

Thankfully, it is also a journey towards many things:

faith
   love
      grace
         realness
            freedom

I want to share this story with you as it's unfolding, but so far I've been at a loss as to how. I'm learning more every day that my life is not perfect or clear-cut or even simple. There's a lot of mess and mistakes and sins and forgotten promises that clutter up the journey.

But I know that I need to record this journey so that I can see my progress. And I want to share it with you so that you can hopefully be encouraged. So I am going to try this new thing. I call it Droplets.

Droplets: Collect one drop each day from the story of God saturating my life with faith, love, and grace, washing away fear, guilt, and self-sufficiency. Hopefully the drops will take on the form of poems or reminiscences - but however they come, I'm determined to capture them.
We will see what God will do!

6.28.2013

The Real Me

I always second-guess if people really love me.

via pinterest
As soon as I start to become friends with someone, no matter who it is, I begin to doubt. What if they're just talking to me to be polite? They can't really want to be my friend. They'll just leave or fade out of my life eventually.

Even if we do become friends and I see that the person is willing to stick around for a while, I still wonder. I may never voice it, but deep down inside there's always that doubt slowly gnawing on the bud of our friendship.

I recently had to tell a close friend of many years that I still wasn't totally convinced that she loved me. (And this girl has shown me that she does in more ways that I can count!)

I don't know why it is so hard for me to accept that others love me. Why can't I recognize and receive the love that others often will give to me more freely than I realize?

I've thought about this for a long time. I've always wondered if it was just an insecurity of mine I would never get rid of, like the scars from chicken pox that show up when you get a tan. Maybe I just have to live with it, and hope it will fade with time.

But I don't think that's true. I think there is a real issue behind my insecurity: that I never let enough of myself be visible for others to love. So, because they never (or only rarely) glimpse the true me, I'm always left wondering if they'll really love the true me. I'm very good at adapting and meeting others' needs and seeking out what makes them happy - but I'm very bad at letting them do those things for me.

It's as if I put up a puppet of me, the Rachel As Friend to So and So, and that friend interacts with and loves and cares for that puppet. While I'm hiding below the puppet stage, only willing to let myself be seen in glimpses, like when the happy face won't work or the puppet stage breaks down. I've started to be willing to be open in the hard times, but rarely do I let the real Rachel out when all is fine and the puppet mask works just as well as my real face (or even better). Besides, who would want to see the real me anyway?

The real me may not be concerned about your problems.

The real me may have too many problems of her own.

The real me may be deeply hurt by something you just said.

The real me may want to talk about what God's doing in my life even though it's all still a big mess.

The real me may not have all the answers.

The real me may be more vulnerable than I even realize.

The real me may need to cry on your shoulder, instead of always being the one to take care of you.

I think I need to bring this real me out into the open a bit. In fact, I need to burn down the puppet stage and throw away the puppets. I need to let the scared little Rachel come out into the light. Stop pretending and hiding - from others, myself, and especially God. I need to be willing to let God hold me by the hand instead of handing Him the Perfect Rachel puppet.

Please note, I am not saying that my relationships need to be all about me, or dictated by my needs. No. I have been so out of balance in this area that it takes a more extreme wake up call to shift me over to the middle. You might be on the opposite side - always putting yourself at the center of your relationships instead of others. That's no good either. We have to find balance.

And the only way we're going to get there is if we let God take us by the hand, pull us out into the open, and let others see our true selves.

I'm scared, but willing.


Friends - this post was hard for me to write and share with you all. But I believe I needed to write it. Please pray for me to continue discovering how God wants me to grow in this area, and help me be more of my true self with you.
 

6.13.2013

The Story Behind the Pin

I was going through my pins on pinterest, and I realized that I had so many photos that would be excellent story-starters. I even have a board dedicated to story-worthy pins (called "The Story Behind"). But I never have used any of those photos for a story or even a character snippet. So, I decided to remedy that. Hence, The Story Behind the Pin where I pick a photo from pinterest and write about it, whatever comes from the inspiration of the moment. I hope you enjoy!

via pinterest
She tried to keep her face vaguely cheery so the world could not peek in past her vacant eyes. Eyebrows up, mouth in a slight smile, staring at no one in particular and acknowledging none of the glances that fell her way. She knew she looked pretty, at least if the mirror hadn't lied this morning. But she didn't feel it. How could she feel pretty when she was alone?

She had been waiting in this little cafe for so long that her eyes were beginning to glaze over. Shapes moved and blurred and skidded over the rim of her consciousness, but none entered her thoughts. The world glowed and blossomed around her in the warmth of a summer's day, but she could not see it. Her gaze bore through the glaze to the grey wall on the opposite side of the street. Somehow even though everything else blurred, this did not. She had memorized every crack etched in its expressionless side.

 Maybe this was all she was left to be. She had built up so many walls that it was becoming her existence. Too many people had pierced through her rubble with swords that slashed her soul. Now no one could get in.

 She had coated on so many layers over the scars that she was convinced they weren't visible anymore. She wasn't vulnerable anymore.

 But now she was only a cold grey wall.
(c) Rachel Lowrance 2013

I hope you enjoyed my little snippet. It was certainly a pleasure to write again, after so long of a break. Let me know if you like this idea, and perhaps I could make it into a linkup!
 

6.04.2013

Fear



This very question strikes fear into my heart.

I've been realizing that fear is a huge struggle for me. So often I don't do something or I'll act in a certain way or cover up who I really am because I am chained down by fear. I never saw it that way before - I thought of it as being a homebody, or a shy person, or just struggling with a bit of insecurity. But it's a lot more than that. All those situations, those reactions, are motivated by fear.

I have let myself be motivated by fear.

But I don't want fear to be my default, the "safe" way to react to life. I don't want it to control me, to chain me down to a little life that never gets beyond the trails I've carved for myself. I've chiseled neat, symmetrical, tidy little grooves for myself in my day-to-day routine, and once I am faced with something outside of those safe little trails, fear kicks in. And I let it take over.

Yet God is tugging at the chains, reminding me that He has already broken them if I but let them go. Oh man is it hard to let them go! I actually get a physical reaction when I bend my will toward doing something that I fear. Emotions of vulnerability and incapability and terror flood my mind and overwhelm my senses, making me feel helpless and consumed by worry.

But I don't have to live this way. I don't have to let fear control me. Granted, I don't think I can actually get rid of everything that I fear. I will always have new things to face that are scary or worrisome or out of my comfort zone. But By God's grace I can confront my fears head on, giving myself space to say "yes, this is something I fear," and then moving through and doing it anyway.

You don't have to let fear control how you act or react. When faced with something you fear, you can choose to give in to fear or you can choose to have faith and pray for the strength to do what God would have you do.

The Bible is full of instances where God enabled people to conquer their fears. Just look at Abraham who feared to sacrifice his son, Moses who feared to speak, Joshua who feared to lead, Mary who feared to bear the Son of God, and so many more. God strengthened each of them with His courage and endurance to throw off the chains of fear and live lives of faith.

How much more will he do the same for us?

5.29.2013

New Design

Well, I did it! I finally completed re-designing my blog! I'm no designer, but through trial and error (and a lot of frustration and tutorial-searching and perseverance) I managed to come up with something I really like. When I think of the word Vividry I've always had a picture of colorful sheets blowing in the sun. And I think I was finally able to capture that idea with this design. I also like that it's simple. I enjoy girly, swirly, elegant things, but I was ready for a change. What do you all think?

Along with the new design, I have a couple of new things on the blog I'd like to highlight for you:

First, on the left side of this post, you'll see a navbar. You can click on any of the buttons and they'll drop down. The first one, "About Me" is pretty obvious. Under that is "Subscribe," where I put both the button for subscribing in a reader and a place to subscribe through your email. You should go check it out right now. *hint hint* ;)

Then we have "Connect," where I have put these cute buttons for all the different ways you can connect with me.


This is the email button. Click on it and you can send me an email. I love getting notes, especially if they are encouraging or if you have ideas for things you'd like to see on this blog.


This is the bloglovin' button. You may not have heard of bloglovin' before - I certainly hadn't before this week! Since Google Reader is eventually going to be gone, bloglovin' is a great replacement for it. Through this platform you can follow my blog (and all your other favorite blogs!), and easily see all recent posts on your main page.


 This is the facebook button that goes to my blog's facebook page. I try to post more than just my blog posts on here, so check it out!



 And last but not least, my pinterest button. I think I may have a slight addiction to pinterest - I simply love collecting things of beauty. Come follow me!


The last button is "My Website," which will be coming soon! I'm working on designing a website for my piano teaching/accompanying/wedding music business.

Also, you may notice that I have a new signature. As I've become older and had other places where my name and information is out on the internet, I've decided to consolidate them so things don't become too confusing. Thus, I am no longer Melody, though I am still as musical as ever. You may now call me Rachel. :)

I hope you enjoy the newness on the blog as much as I do! I am also planning a lot of new things for this blog, such as a series on a book called "It's Not That Complicated," more photography, story snippets, and another series which is still in the works called "Vague-Vital-Vivid." I can't wait to get started!

5.20.2013

Return

credit to Kimberly Reitsma

Dear friends,

It's been a long, challenging semester. I finally finished about two weeks ago, but I've been feeling the effects of the semester even now. I've wanted to get back into writing in this blog, but I just felt stuck somehow. Even though the full blast of stress and deadlines and responsibilities isn't upon me anymore, they still taint my thoughts and actions. Like food coloring in a clear glass of water, some of the stresses and coping mechanisms have sunk deep within me. I'm finding it hard to bring them back to the surface so I can let them go. It's too easy to simply pour another layer of water over the top so everything looks glassy smooth on the surface. But sooner or later the food coloring will be clearly evident no matter what part of the glass you look at. And I think that's about where I am right now.

I've got a lot of emotions, thoughts, relationships, and questions to sort through. I'm also struggling a bit because I'm not sure I have my own voice on this blog - too often I will imitate the blogs of those I admire, but then feel foolish because that isn't really the authentic me. I'm not totally sure how I'm supposed to write - I only know that I must.

There's so many things I want to share with you - ways I've grown, been stretched, strengthened, encouraged, challenges I've faced - and I can't wait to see how this summer unfolds.  So I hope you will come and visit awhile, listen to my heart and the ways God grows me, and hopefully be strengthened and encouraged to live your own vivid life. I would also like this blog to be more of a community - where I share my struggles and you share your struggles and we can lift each other up to the Lord and be mutually encouraged.

Will you join me?

1.01.2013

Overflowing

You poor dears, waiting on me so long for another post. This semester has been so good and rich and filled with change in me which I am longing to get into words... but for now, I would like to open the new year with just one word.

Overflowing

This is my word for 2013. 

As I was reading  my Bible this morning, I was praying and asking God how He wanted to shape and sand me this upcoming year. I'm reading through Psalm 119, one section a day, and today my verses were 17-24. The ones that stuck out to me were:
"Do good to your servant, and I will live; I will obey your word. Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law. (17-18)

My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times. You rebuke the arrogant, who are cursed and who stray from your commands. (20-21)

Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors." (24)
I am always struck by how much this psalmist desires to love God's word. It's quite an intense longing - he calls God's word his delight, wonderful, his counselor. I know I don't have that - and I want it. I fear I am too much like the arrogant sometimes - loving myself too much to give much heed to His commands. I want to delight and be consumed with longing for God's word and God himself.

I was reminded of a New Testament passage that talked about obeying God's commands, and so I turned to these verses:
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." ~John 15:9-11
Here was the whole picture. To love God's word because I love to obey God. This results in complete and perfect joy. Overflowing.

Overflowing is only the outward result of all this inner connection and interconnection between myself and God through His word. If I want to be described as overflowing, I will have to continually drink from the Source of all that I want to spill out of my life. I can't overflow Melody-ness - that would be a very poor, brackish, disgusting kind of water. Only when I overflow God-ness - His joy, His peace, His love - will my life pour out living water that gives life to all it touches.

And by God's grace, that is exactly what I want to do this year. 

8.26.2012

Identity

What would life be like if your identity was wrapped up in something that could change in an instant? How would you live knowing that anything that happened to that one thing would cause your whole world to fall apart?
I jammed one of my fingers yesterday playing Frisbee. This morning I woke up and it had swelled some during the night, even though I put ice on it as soon as I jammed it. I started to freak out a little, because I've jammed fingers before and had them not heal completely until like a month afterward. And I kind of need my fingers right now, since I am a piano major at college.

As I was freaking out about all this, it suddenly hit me. I was wrapping my identity around my ability to play the piano. My ability to play the piano is definitely something that can change in an instant, as has been brought to my attention before (see this post about how I had to learn this same thing freshman year). If I let my identity become wrapped up in playing the piano, my whole world can be shattered very easily with an injured finger, wrist, arm, back, or anything. But, if I remember that my identity is wrapped up in the love of God which will never change, then I can stand secure.

I like to think of the comparison this way. I can define myself either as a Pianist Who Follows God, or as a Daughter of the King Who Plays the Piano. As a Pianist Who Follows God, something like a jammed finger is a huge deal, because playing the piano is my main focus. But as a Daughter of the King Who Plays the Piano, a jammed finger can be seen in His perspective. My goal is no longer simply to be a good pianist, but to glorify God.

This means that whatever happens with my fingers, hands, arms, back, health, emotions, anything - all of it is an opportunity to point people to God. Even if it's as simple as saying, "Yeah, I jammed my finger and probably won't be able to practice for a couple of days, but I'm okay with it because I know God is in control." That brings God glory.

And by God's grace, this is what I aim to do today.

What is your identity wrapped up in? Do you truly rest in the unchanging love of God, or are there other things that you identify yourself with?

8.07.2012

Button Swap

Bree over at Tea & Bree is having a button swap, and happily I was invited to join. I'm so glad I did, because through it I got to meet a brand new blogging friend whose blog I had somehow missed in my time so far in the blogosphere. I'm still surprised that I didn't run across her blog before, seeing as her blog (not to mention her writing) is amazing. It was a lot of fun to interview her (as well as be interviewed by her), and I hope you all will hop over to her blog and see for yourself how beautiful her writing is.

So, I give you: Jenny, from The Penslayer.
(My questions are in bold, and her answers are directly after.)


Well, first off I have to ask: where did the title of Penslayer come from? How did you originally decide to start a blog?
You know that saying, “the pen is mightier than the sword.”  Everyone knows that saying.  Well, the story goes, on a forum of which I used to be a part I would post pieces of my work: snippets from large stories, one-shots, short stories, those kinds of things.  It really helped build my confidence because I would get sound criticism and, in general, people liked my work.  And one time a friend of mine liked a piece I had written so much that she said, “Jenny, you’ve penslain me!”  And suddenly I became The Penslayer and I made a name for myself slaying people with my prose.  (There must be a story in that…)  The name stuck, and when I made my writing blog I had a name ready to hand: The Penslayer.  As for why I had to start the blog, I started it right around the time my book The Shadow Things came out to help carve a niche for myself on the internet and get my name out there.  It seems to have done none too badly!

About you: if you could pick three words to describe yourself, what would they be?
Elemental.  Ginger.  Sehnsucht.

Describe the perfect day.
The perfect day is in autumn with clear air and only a few clouds, cool but not cold, with plenty of sun to make you warm again, the maples in full flaming foliage, and a bonfire somewhere filling the air with a sweet fragrance.

What would you say inspires you to write books? What do you do to ignite the spark or keep the words flowing?
Reading helps me most.  Sometimes music helps, if I already have an idea and just need the impetus to write it down, but reading helps the most.  When I am dry, when I can’t think of anything or (which happens more often) I simply don’t feel that I want to write, I find a good book of fiction, sit down, and read.  When I get caught up in the glory of the novel I find I am fighting the itch to go write myself, and I soon leave the book behind and am back at the computer, writing my own scrawling fire-ink on the page.  Jealousy in a woman is a powerful catalyst.  I cannot long stand to be outdone by the masters.  I must imitate them.

If you could wish for anything in the world, what would it be?
To do magic.  Really nice, instantaneous magic with pretty lighting.  But no one would let me do it because I would make River Tam look like a Girl Scout.  C’est la vie.

What kind of music do you most like to listen to, and why? Could you list a couple of your favorite songs?
I don’t know the music genres, so I can’t answer that.  I listen to music (I can answer this) because I must: there are some things in life, many things in life, some snatches of words, some emotions, many truths, which cannot be adequately communicated or received apart from music.  I am, as to that, keeping a rough list of the songs that seem to help me as I write Plenilune.  To date, they are the following:
You As You Were—Shearwater
Animal Life—Shearwater
Viva La Vida—Coldplay
Brother, Stand Beside Me—Heather Dale
Sherwood—Heather Dale
Dementia—Owl City
Take It All Away—Owl City
Lothlorien—Lord of the Rings Musical
Wonder—Lord of the Rings Musical
Now and For Always—Lord of the Rings Musical
Breaking Through—Audrey Assad
Show Me—Audrey Assad

Since you are a writer, I’m sure you are a reader as well. Can you name your top ten favorite books and why they resonate with you?
My train of thought wrecked.  There were no survivors.  I want to answer this question with the caveat that these titles are my favourites to date.  The more I read and the more I grow the more these books are replaced by better ones.  (And thank you for giving me ten titles, not just one.) 
The Gammage Cup—Carol Kendall
The Worm Ouroboros—E.R. Eddison
The Eagle of the Ninth—Rosemary Sutcliff
The Silver Branch—Rosemary Sutcliff
Simon—Rosemary Sutcliff
The Shield Ring—Rosemary Sutcliff
The Ballad of the White Horse—G.K. Chesterton
The Great Divorce—C.S. Lewis
Perelandra—C.S. Lewis
The Hobbit—J.R.R Tolkien

I see you have published a book! That is awesome (and I am quite jealous)! Can you tell me a bit about your book and the journey you had to publication?

I didn’t really think about why I was writing The Shadow Things while I was in the process; it was only when I had finished (or nearly finished) that I looked back and discovered I had explored the torment endured by a lonely Christian soul in a thoroughly anti-Christian environment—but more than that, many of us know what it is like to hurt and be lonely: I had written a character who knew how to live it, to rise to it, to walk almost joyfully through an oppressive life.  We know what it is like to be crushed: in Indi I discovered what it looked like to glory in this momentary light affliction.  It is, in a novel, a depiction of those in the Beatitudes.

The journey to the publication of The Shadow Things was unusually short, and two years and several subsequent stories have blurred my memory.  Somehow I wrote that odd critter called a query letter and, among the houses I contacted (unagented) I found one that took me.  We were on the verge of the Christmas market so it was really a rush to get The Shadow Things through so that it would be out on time.  That, too, makes it quite a blur.  We had book signings (very new experience) and a television interview (VERY new experience), and it really happened so quickly that it was really only in the past few months of this year (2012) that it really struck me: I’m an author. 

What other works in progress are you currently working on?
I have quite a number of ideas at varying stages.  We’ll focus on the core three.  Adamantine, for a long time my magnum opus, is a finished fantasy that I am currently in the process of finding an agent for.  (Ended that sentence with a preposition!  Oh yeah!)  To either baffle you or pique your interest, I will tell you that it combines Victorian England, Beowulf, Faerie, an ancient god, and a tip of the hat to the Roman Empire.  It makes sense.  You’ll just have to wait for the novel to come out to find out how.  It’s companion novel, Plenilune, is what I am writing now.  This deals with another Victorian girl placed as a pawn on the political chessboard of a confederacy bereft of a ruler and not liking the candidate for ruler that is lined up to govern them.  It deals with politics, magic, treachery, love, and war.  It is a full, red-blooded story and I am enjoying writing it.  The third book, which I have not begun to write but is also meant to be a companion to the other two, is Gingerune, about the product of a ruinous war between two powerful races and about the secret that slumbers, waiting to be discovered, that will turn the world upside down.

What is your favorite genre to write in? Are there any genres you haven’t attempted or tend to avoid?

My favourite genre to write is fantasy.  It gives you more room than historical fiction does simply because you’ve got to get your facts right in historical fiction: someone already came up with those.  In fantasy, however, though you are allowed to come up with your own facts, one is handicapped simply because fantasy has to make more sense than reality: the reader will suspend his disbelief only so long: you can’t just wildly break every physical and ethical law we all take for granted.  Fantasy really does demand a lot from the writer.  But I love it all the same: it allows me to best express my own imagination and communicate what I see and feel.  I have written a little science fiction, nothing worth mentioning (no really, don’t mention it), and I tend to steer clear of contemporary fiction.  I’m sure there are some great contemporary authors out there and I just haven’t found them yet, but my style suffers an almost fatal blow when I try to write contemporary.  Everyone notices it.  I notice it.  And so I avoid it.

I would love to see some excerpts of your work, if you are willing to share.

From Plenilune:
I spoke with Mark Roy this evening before coming up to my room.  Somehow he got out of me, in one of those moments in which politeness must disarm my tongue, that I am leaving tomorrow, and I was surprised to see that he seemed genuinely sorry.  Perhaps he believes Centurion and Lord Gro.  Perhaps my episode in the woods has helped prove to him that I am not willingly Rupert’s pawn, that I should wish better things for them—as if wishing had any weight.  He was sorry, and urged me to visit them in Orzelon-gang’s capital some day.  Of course I told him that I would—what else could I have said?—and he began to tell me of its beauty, a little like a man who is homesick, and the strange thing was that I felt he was painting a portrait of his wife as he spoke.  He talked of the black marble, that is native to Plenilune, with which his home is made, and of the many little streams and pools that run all through it, making music in the background, and the great red and gold fish that they keep which flicker like flames in the watery dark.  He spoke of the golden dragons which are the doorposts of the house, of the lotus gardens that make the grounds look as if the sky has come down among them when the plants are all in bloom.  I thought of strange, beautiful Romage and her harp-music, of the red-and-gold thread of her hair and song, and the huge orchestral dark behind her, and wondered if Mark Roy thought of that too when he spoke of his home, and if that was why he sounded homesick.
From Adamantine:
Everything seemed to come from far away to Adamant, drifting on the silver-rimmed rush of storm-sound from without: and herself, she fancied, in a hollow shell, cupped by timber walls as the storm surged around her, the warmth of fire and malt and small beer porridge fortifying her against the cold noise of the wind-surf.  But just at the moment sleep was stealing upon her, and she thought somewhere in the confusion of sounds that she heard a voice calling her name, a child shrieked with laughter, and the silver spell was broken.
Rhodri took her empty bowl from her and passed it to the fairy woman.  “I apologize; my conversation is boring you to sleep.”
She was too tired to even feel embarrassment.  “Small wonder she’s dropping asleep as she sits,” the woman remarked.  She was aware of a grey, bundly, mothy creature hustling over to her, and she was suddenly loathe to let go of the hand which Rhodri extended to her to help her up.  “After a long ride in the sleet-swale, small wonder—tsk! small wonder!”
“Eikin,” said Rhodri.
The familiar warm-smelling figure of the Catti loomed beside her.  “Come in-by, firur,” he murmuring to her, and she stumbled off Rhodri’s hand onto his arm, catching herself with a wave of self-consciousness in order to walk steadily.  But she was blind-weary, and confused with food and drink; yet even in her weariness, as one would be aware of a thing in a dream, she was aware of Rhodri’s sharp eyes on the back of her neck, watching her go, watching Eikin go.  Even as she passed out of sight into a long dark hall, with a softness of feather-stuffed mattress somewhere in the depths of the dark, she felt that awareness looking after her still. 
“Mind that I’ll be by the door,” she heard Eikin say, and she did not understand what he meant.  “Call if you need anything.”
Then he left, and she let her fingers slip on consciousness entirely, falling into a dreamless place where she heard the sough of the wind and the drumming of Andor’s breath, and someone from very far away—far away as years are far away—calling her name.


And that's it! Don't you love these excerpts? Even though I don't know anything of either of these stories, she's drawn me in where I'm left wondering what's next. I would highly recommend you check out her blog and read more of her writing for yourself. And head over to Bree's blog where she has listed the rest of the lovely ladies participating in her button swap!

7.08.2012

The Daughter of Time

I have been reading a lot of books this summer. A friend challenged me to see which of us could read the most pages from May to August (when we go back to school). Currently we're neck and neck at a bit over 4,000 words read!

Since I have been consuming books in such large quantities, I thought it would be fun to review some of them for you. I've been reading such varied books as Crazy Love by Francis Chan, Alpha Centauri by Robert Siegel, Father Brown books by G. K. Chesterton, some Janette Oke books, and also I even started the Harry Potter series (which I will definitely post about once I've finished).

But there was one book that I read that I knew I must share with you. I had actually read it some years ago, but only had a vague memory of intrigue and suspense with a bit of humor... and a very satisfying ending. When I read it this time I remembered why I liked it so much.

The book is called The Daughter of Time, and it's written by Josephine Tey (which, by the way, is a pseudonym, though I'm not sure why the author chose to have one). It is a mystery, but a very different sort of mystery than you usually read. The detective is not trying to figure out "whodunit" (at least not at first), the crime is not current (in fact, it is centuries old), the setting is a hospital room, and the case doesn't even seem like one at first.


To sum the story up in one sentence, The Daughter of Time is a story about a detective ("Inspector Grant") who decides to solve the mystery of the little princes in the tower. He comes upon this mystery because of a picture of Richard the Third, which to him does not look like the picture of an evil man who would murder his own nephews who were merely children. So, he begins to investigate, and uncovers a deeper mystery than he could have known.

I love this book because of the way it challenges you to think and really dig deep before simply accepting history books as "facts." When this book was written, it sparked many people to unearth the truth on Richard the Third for themselves. The book is also a fun (and rather quick) read, though the references to almost all of the royal lines in the War of the Roses can get very confusing sometimes. (Why did there have to be so many Henrys?) I also love the style of language the author uses: it's witty and engaging, and yet also demonstrates a masterful use of language.


The title of the book comes from the Francis Bacon quote: "Truth is rightly named the daughter of time, not of authority." I would encourage you to read the book and decide for yourself - do you believe that? Or does truth withstand time - even if our perception of it does not?


6.19.2012

Fullness


 "..that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17b-19 (NASB, emphasis mine)

Isn't it amazing that God has given us knowledge of something we can't even grasp? Like the concept of fullness: God has given us the desire for it, the ability to perceive it, even a name for it. But true fullness in life is being completely filled with God - something we never can really know in its entirety until we get to heaven.

Even Christians, who do experience a measure of the fullness of Christ now, cannot perfectly be filled with Him until we have our heavenly bodies - without sin or desire of sin.

Doesn't it make you long for that day, when that emptiness that all mankind aches with will finally be filled for those who are in Christ? And doesn't it make you long to tell others so that they too might have the sure hope of true fulfillment?

6.14.2012

You Know You're A Music Major #2

I was looking back in my old posts, and I saw this post that I wrote my freshman year of college. I thought it only fitting that I should add to it, since I have now completed another year and have more music major-ness seeped into me. ;) So without further ado, here are more evidences of my music major craziness.

You know you're a CU music major if...

...The practice room/music lounge is your second home

...You've slept, studied, skyped, cried, or prayed under a piano in a practice room.

...You know solfege is a way to sing, not a food.

...You're in multiple music ensembles... because you want to be.

...Singing in class is perfectly normal.

...One of the best days of your life is when you've finished your last aural skills test.

...You see the same people every day in class, the practice room, and everywhere else.

...You know the form of torture called "Death by MacGamut"

...Tour guides talking about the practice rooms are always a source of amusement.

...you know everyone in your department by instrument over name.

...Is there life outside of the music building?

6.07.2012

My Psalms

This past school year had a lot of ups and downs for me. It was probably my busiest and most stressful year yet, and I often had to fight away worry and fear. And yet it also was my most fruitful and encouraging year, as I saw God bring me through each busy day, stressful situation, and difficult discussion.

There was a time towards the end of my year when my hands began hurting like my freshman year. I wrote these two Psalms during that time. The amazing thing is that my second psalm was written only one day after the first. 

I thought I would share them with you in hopes that they will encourage you. No matter where you are, remember that you can pour out your heart before God. Remind yourself of His love and power - and be amazed at what He can do.

via pinterest

Melody's First Psalm: Lament

Oh Lord, rescue me -
For I am weak and doubtful both in mind and soul.
Rescue me from my fears,
These anxieties that will not go away.
They well up in me like a flood
Whenever I think of my struggle,
My difficulties with the piano.

Give me grace, oh God, to trust You as I ought.
Give me perseverance.
Let me not grow impatient with myself,
Or give up because I don't understand how.

Teach me, oh Lord.
You created the piano,
You created me.
Surely You best know how those two fit together.

But I will trust in Your sovereign hand.
Even as I struggle, I will quiet my heart
With remembrance of Your omnipotence.
You see past this hurdle
And in Your eyes it is but a small hump
A mere blip in my existence.
Help me to keep Your eyes in my heart.


via pinterest

Melody's Second Psalm: Joy

Oh Lord, I will praise You.
My joy knows no limit,
It overflows though my life
Like a flood; I cannot contain it.

For You have rescued me from fear
And strengthened my mind to understand the technique
You've granted me a taste of victory -
Oh that I would always praise you like this!

Oh that I would worship You always,
For You have done things I despaired of.

Great are You, Lord.

5.31.2012

All I Have is Christ

I don't usually post videos on here, but when a friend shared this video on facebook, I was moved to tears.

Turn off the music, blow this up to fullscreen, and just watch. Think about what Christ has done for you. No matter if you were the worst sinner in the world or have never done any "big" sins - without Christ we are all lost in darkness, bound for hell. And yet He sacrificed His life so that you and I might live... not for ourselves, but for Him. 

Watch this with an open heart. Let the words change you. Join me in asking yourself, "Can I truly say that all I have is Christ?"




p.s. if you like this video, check out "prodigal," also by the same guy on youtube.
 

Search my Blog

Come Follow me, ye Lovers of Vividry!